The Trouble With Choices Read online

  Two steps up, she realised she needed to climb another. One more and she could just about reach. Damn. Lucky she’d always had a head for heights. She took another step up, leaning her legs against the top rail, and looked up. Perfect. She perched the cloth on top of the ladder, reached her arms up and fiddled with the shade until she could feel it unclip at the exact moment she felt the room tip and sway.

  Whoa, that was weird.

  She clung onto the loose shade with one hand, her other seeking the top of the ladder as her head reeled and her world spun. Her flailing wrist smacked hard against the top of the ladder and her fingers wrapped around the edge. She made it down one step, and then two, before her foot slipped past the next rung and she fell.

  50

  Hannah

  ‘How’s your nan?’ Declan asked, hunkered down on his haunches alongside, watching Hannah give Ella her bottle for a treat. Big brown eyes stared into hers as the joey suckled on the teat, its little paws resting on Hannah’s fingers as she held the bottle. It was no wonder Declan was besotted, Ella was adorable.

  ‘She’s good,’ said Hannah. ‘Last I heard anyway. Dan’s put bolts on the doors and gate so she can’t just disappear, and she seems to be coping all right.’

  ‘That’s good news, then,’ he said. ‘So, when do you think it would be a good time to meet your family? I was thinking maybe I should invite them over to Hobbitville for a barbecue one weekend.’ Too late, Hannah realised the trap Declan had sprung. She looked up to see him grinning at her, the challenge clear in his eyes. ‘What do you say?’

  ‘That sounds like an awful lot of trouble for you to go to.’

  ‘No trouble. I’ll enjoy it.’ And she knew he would.

  She concentrated on easing the joey from the now empty bottle rather than look at Declan, her mind racing. ‘Well, it’s a lovely idea, but it could be tricky to arrange. Beth does shift work, often on the weekends. I’d have to check.’

  ‘Ah, Hannah love,’ he said, letting his head drop on a sigh. ‘Why do I get the impression you don’t want me to meet your family?’

  ‘That’s not true!’

  ‘A man starts to feel like he’s only good for one thing. Or maybe, you really have got a husband you run off to when you leave me?’

  ‘No! That’s a ridiculous idea. There’s nobody else, Declan.’ She tried to make light of it as she sat Ella on her lap to toilet her. ‘I wouldn’t have the energy, for starters.’

  He laughed at that. ‘Well, there’s a relief.’

  He watched her for a few seconds, reaching a hand over to tickle the joey behind its soft ears. ‘What is it that makes you tick, Hannah?’ he asked, his voice low and husky, his wild Atlantic eyes searching hers. ‘What is it that I’m missing?’

  She stiffened. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I don’t know, only it feels like I’m only being allowed into a part of Hannah-world. I’d like to be let into the rest, only I don’t know how to get there.’

  Her throat achingly tight, she swallowed. ‘God, I’m sorry, Declan. I’m not very good at relationships. I’ve not had much practice.’

  He nodded, slipping an arm around her shoulders. ‘Which is no doubt why you haven’t been snapped up before now. Their loss is my gain.’

  She lifted her gaze to his. ‘Why are you so nice to me?’

  ‘Maybe because you’re someone special.’ His thumb swept the line of her jaw. ‘And because I like you, Hannah. I like you a lot.’

  51

  Sophie

  If Nick was relieved to see that Sophie was okay, he sure wasn’t showing it.

  ‘What the hell were you thinking?’ he said, when he got a chance to speak to her alone in the mechanical monster that masqueraded as a hospital bed. ‘What on earth were you doing up a ladder?’

  ‘Calm down,’ Sophie said, wrangling with the heavy pillows at her back. ‘This is supposed to be a hospital, remember.’

  ‘But a ladder,’ he said, waving an angry hand in the direction of the bump under the sheet, ‘in your condition.’

  ‘I had to dust the light cover somehow.’

  ‘No, you didn’t. You could have asked someone else to do it, if it was so damned necessary. You could have asked Dan or one of your sisters to help. You could have damned well asked me.’

  Sophie closed her eyes, and took a deep, hopefully calming breath, but clearly the man wasn’t done with her yet.

  ‘Don’t you realise, you could have hurt the babies with a stunt like that?’

  She snapped open her eyes. ‘The babies are fine.’

  ‘No thanks to you. How could you do something so irresponsible?’

  ‘Don’t you think I feel bad enough already? How was I to know I’d get dizzy. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.’

  ‘Damned right it won’t.’

  She punched at her pillows this time, the waterproof protectors crackling under the pillow slips, the action strangely therapeutic. ‘Okay, Nick,’ she said, settling back into them. ‘I made a mistake. I’m sorry. But you’re not exactly helping my blood pressure here.’

  He turned away, raking a hand through his hair, one hand on his hip. ‘No,’ he said, blowing out a long sigh before he turned back, his dark eyes remorseful. ‘I guess not. You gave me the fright of my life, Sophie.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, because now that he wasn’t coming over all alpha, she could see his point of view. She hadn’t had to clean the shade herself. ‘I’ll be more careful, I promise.’

  ‘No more climbing ladders?’

  She shook her head, managed a weak smile and crossed her heart with her fingers. ‘Promise.’

  He returned an answering smile. ‘Thank you.’

  He looked almost endearing standing at the end of her bed in his crumpled work shirt and pants, concern, relief and the makings of a five o’clock shadow lining his dark features. He’d come straight to the hospital from the orchard, and God, could the man rock that outdoor look—almost as well as he’d rocked his best man threads.

  She blinked and shook her head. No point going there.

  ‘Thanks for coming,’ she said, thinking they had nothing else to say. But the man was going nowhere, apparently. He curved his hands around the bed rail at her side.

  ‘Sophie,’ he started, ‘I know you want to remain independent, but what if something else happens? I’m worried about you being by yourself. Can you at least think about my offer to share the house?’

  ‘Nick—’

  He held up a hand to stop her. ‘Hear me out, Sophie. It’s a big house. I promise I won’t get in your way. I promise not to micromanage you. You’ll have space, and you’ll be closer to the rest of your family, too, up in the hills. Will you at least think about it?’

  His dark eyes looked down at her, imploring, and all she could think was that her heart was beating too fast, even when he wasn’t yelling at her. She shook her head.

  ‘Think about it,’ he said, his hand lifting from the railing. She thought he was going to touch her then, just a parting hand to her shoulder, a squeeze, but he pulled his hand back. ‘That’s all I ask.’ And then he was gone.

  Sophie lay back against her crackling pillows. This was not how she’d imagined it would be when she’d decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. This was not what she’d planned. She squirmed and punched her noisy pillows again. Why was it, that when you’d made a choice to do one thing, your life suddenly hurtled off into a completely different direction? What was that about?

  ‘Bloody man,’ Sophie grumbled half an hour later, as Beth topped up the water in her flowers. She’d told them about Nick, thinking she’d get it off her chest and get their agreement. ‘Who does he think he is?’

  ‘He’s only trying to help,’ Hannah said.

  ‘No, he’s not. He’s trying to take over, that’s what he’s doing.’

  ‘Hey, you’re a first-time mum expecting twins and you live by yourself,’ Beth said, now perched on the edge of the bed. ‘And on to
p of that, you’ve got high blood pressure.’ She patted Sophie’s hand. ‘This is not something to take lightly. First-time mothers of twins are more likely to develop pre-eclampsia and that’s something you and these babies do not want.’

  ‘Well, he’s not helping my blood pressure one bit. You know he asked me to move into his place.’

  Her sisters exchanged glances. ‘Um,’ said Beth, looking questioningly at her older sister.

  ‘Is that such a bad idea?’ Hannah finished.

  ‘What?’ Sophie crossed her arms over her bump, as well as the IV in one hand let her. ‘It’s a rubbish idea. I’m not moving.’

  ‘Sophie,’ Beth warned. ‘The specialist said you shouldn’t be alone if it could be avoided. And it can be avoided.’

  ‘Nope. Not moving in with Nick. No way. I’ll move in with one of you if I have to move anywhere.’

  ‘Well that won’t work,’ said Hannah. ‘Both of us do shift work and we’re on call half the time. Which means if and when you need us, there’s a chance we won’t be there.’

  ‘Then I’ll move back home with Dan and Lucy.’

  ‘Seriously? Your brother’s been married a few short months and you’d go play gooseberry? That’d be a heap of laughs for everyone.’

  ‘Besides, Lucy is pregnant, too,’ Beth added. ‘Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair? It’s not like she’s going to be able to do anything with you if you needed a hand when Dan wasn’t around.’

  ‘And don’t even think about moving in with Nan and Pop. Not given their age, especially now with Nan’s diagnosis.’

  Sophie snorted in disgust. ‘I am not moving in with Nick.’

  ‘Why the hell not? It seems like the perfect solution for everyone.’

  Sophie crossed her arms. ‘Not for me it doesn’t.’

  ‘Why not give it a trial?’ Beth suggested. ‘A couple of weeks? A month?’

  Hannah nodded. ‘And then if it doesn’t work out, we’ll think of something else.’

  She shook her head. ‘That’s crazy.’

  Hannah and Beth looked at each other, then back at Sophie, before Beth ventured, ‘He is the father, right?’

  ‘And he wants to help. Wasn’t he there for you at your scans?’

  ‘Yes on both counts. So?’

  ‘So, clearly you don’t find him too repulsive,’ said Beth. ‘After all, you did sleep with him.’

  ‘God, do you have to keep reminding me?’

  ‘That’s a joke, right,’ said Hannah. ‘With that bump, how can you possibly forget?’

  Sophie sighed, and let herself flop back into her crinkly hospital pillows. ‘I can’t move in with him.’

  ‘Can’t, or won’t?’ Beth said. ‘Seriously, what’s wrong with the guy?’

  ‘He’s controlling, he thinks I’m irresponsible and he wants to call all the shots.’

  Hannah’s nose twitched. ‘That’s only two things, though, isn’t it? Controlling and wanting to call all the shots—aren’t they the same thing?’

  ‘What does it matter?’

  ‘And in his favour,’ said Beth, counting on her fingers, ‘he’s a good father, he lives closer to the school than you do, which will ease your commute, and he’s clearly hot enough to sleep with.’

  ‘I was drunk!’

  ‘Finally the truth comes out! But he is kind of hot, don’t you reckon, Han?’

  ‘I’ll say,’ she agreed, ‘if you go for that hunky primary producer kind of guy, the kind with broad shoulders and dark hair and Mediterranean good looks—’

  Sophie wanted to scream. ‘Can you guys just quit it? You’re not helping.’

  ‘And you’re not making any sense. What are you so afraid of? Because right now, Nick doesn’t look anything like the monster you’ve painted him to be.’

  ‘Exactly,’ Hannah agreed. ‘He wants to help and you’re not letting him. What’s with that?’

  ‘Don’t you see? I need to do this on my own. I want to prove I can stand on my own two feet.’

  Her sisters looked blankly at each other, before Beth shrugged.

  ‘It gets worse,’ Sophie added, ‘because the doctors are saying I can’t work full time. They want me to cut my hours by fifty per cent. I mean, if I did move in with Nick on those terms, I’d never get away from him.’

  Hannah rolled her eyes theatrically. ‘Ghastly!’

  ‘Come on,’ urged Beth. ‘Spill.’

  ‘I’ve told you!’

  Hannah cocked an eyebrow and both sisters waited.

  Finally Sophie sighed, sagging on her bed. ‘Okay, so maybe there is another reason. Maybe I don’t want to fall for him.’

  Beth and Hannah looked at each other and burst out laughing.

  Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘I knew telling you would be a mistake! I knew you wouldn’t understand.’

  Hannah was still chortling. Beth was swiping tears from her cheek. ‘Yes, because falling for Nick would be the worst thing in the world, of course.’

  ‘It would be,’ said Sophie. ‘Don’t you see? Every time a guy looks at me, I fall in love with him, and then it all goes pear-shaped and ends up being a disaster because he never really loved me. Look at what happened with Jason and how that ended, and it was exactly the same with the guy before that. I’ve promised myself I won’t let that happen again.’

  ‘You really think there’s a danger of you falling for Nick?’

  ‘We’ll be living under the same roof and I’m having his babies. What do you think?’

  ‘Well, maybe that would be a good outcome? The perfect ready-made family.’

  ‘No! Because he’s only worried about these twins of his. They’re the reason he rushed in when he found out I fell. He came in here shouting the walls down. You see, that’s why he wants me to move in with him, because he doesn’t trust me to look after them.’

  ‘He may have a point,’ Hannah said drily.

  Beth nodded. ‘You did climb up that ladder. You were very lucky.’

  ‘But you see,’ Sophie argued, because her sisters were sounding more and more like Nick and she needed to make them see that there was more than the babies at stake. ‘I’d go falling in love with him, and he’d only be interested in the babies and I’d end up with my heart broken, only it would be worse than ever because now we’d be stuck together because of those babies. That’s hardly a healthy way to bring up kids.’

  ‘Wow,’ said Beth, sitting down on the bed, plucking at the sheet. ‘That would be a mess, huh?’

  ‘See?’ Sophie said, seizing on some agreement for a change. ‘I can’t afford for that to happen, it would be a disaster. That’s why I can’t move in.’

  ‘Hang on,’ Hannah said. ‘We are talking about a guy who’s controlling and thinks you’re irresponsible. That was it, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Plus, he wants to call all the shots!’

  ‘Same thing really, but yeah, let’s add it in for good measure.’ Hannah nodded sagely. ‘In which case, I think I’ve got the answer.’

  Sophie licked her lips, suspicious. ‘What?’

  ‘With a list of character faults that long, there’s no way on earth you could possibly fall in love with the man. I reckon you’re perfectly safe.’

  Beth grinned. ‘In which case, there’s nothing to stop you moving in. Case dismissed.’

  It was far from settled as far as Sophie was concerned, but apparently the juggernaut was off and racing, and there was no stopping it. Whenever she turned around over the next few days, she found one or other of her sisters invading her space and sorting out what to take and what to put in storage in preparation for renting out the flat. To help her, they said, but Sophie felt like they were delivering her up to Nick on a platter. All she needed was someone to stick an apple into her mouth.

  Even Nan thought it was lovely that she’d be moving in with him. ‘It’s right that the father will be on hand to look after you,’ she said, when she phoned one night after hearing the news.

  ‘I thought you’d be on my
side,’ Sophie protested, stroking Whiskers’ tummy as he lay collapsed on his back across her legs. It was too hot to have a furry hairball adding to her temperature, even with the air conditioner on, but Whiskers was on her side, she was sure. ‘I thought you of all people would understand. I feel like I’m being forced into something I don’t want to do.’

  ‘Nobody’s forcing you to marry him, are they?’ Nan chuckled. ‘Though Clarry here’s sending his suit off to the drycleaner’s, just in case.’

  Sophie rolled her eyes, but the sound of Nan’s chuckle had sent a shaft of pain straight through her heart. She was struck by how well Nan could appear on the surface ninety-five per cent of the time, while the dementia was working away behind the scenes, gradually chipping at her mind and her capabilities. It was all so unfair.

  She sighed, because Nan wasn’t the only one who could be irrational. ‘Tell him not to bother, Nan.’

  ‘I did, not that he’ll listen to me,’ she said. ‘Shame though. I always did like that nice young man. Always so polite. Now, how are you off for eggs?’

  52

  Nick

  Nick stood back with his hands on his hips checking out the guest room. He’d spent the last couple of nights turfing out all the junk that seemed to have been deposited in there over the years—junk with Min’s name on it for the most part—and he’d stripped the bed and aired the room and given it a decent once-over with the vacuum cleaner. Now, with the bed made up and the floral curtains playing on the soft night breeze, the room looked fresh and inviting.

  Probably wasted on Sophie, he figured, who had only agreed to this trial under sufferance, but at least she should be comfortable. He’d be happier once she was under his roof. He could keep an eye on her. Make sure she was not climbing up any more bloody ladders.

  Women!

  He heard a car pull up outside and checked his watch. Yup, that was another one and right on time. He sucked in a lungful of air. He knew Min liked Sophie as a teacher, and he had enough faith in his daughter that she’d soon come to accept this new arrangement, but he still had to cross that bridge and tell her. This was the moment of truth. A second later the front door opened and closed, and Min came barrelling through the house, calling for Fat Cat and Moe, the kitten. She stopped when she got to the guest room and saw him there, her Frozen backpack swinging in her hand. She blinked. ‘Wow. What happened?’